While budding spring surrounds us with hope, battles for survival still rage within. The heaviness is bitter and oppressive. It makes all life seem beautiful and delicate.
The fragility within is like a suffocating, bitter early spring blizzard. It threatens to snap the cheerful buds, silence the chirping birds. During the bleak January, the following words came forth during my daily writing ritual.
Just a quick note: not all avalanches are bad: some are a breathtaking, unexpected act of nature.
I am showing up though it hurts.
Moving mountains within me,
Just to turn
And fix my gaze
And try to focus on something
Other than the sadness eating away at me,
Sadness that numbs everything.
Why, oh what does it hurt, wherefore comes this
Dark Heaviness?
I shall speak gently to it, inquire what it would like to say,
And ask it what it wants and needs.
Lighter lies the head and the weight of dread.
My sketchbook calls.
Maybe I could just paint the tiniest snowflake
And call forth an avalanche.
**********
Does this writing worry you? Fear not. I am experimenting with writing what is true. I know it helps me to hear someone else’s raw reality and see them still going. So for anyone out there, that needs that boost to keep going, this is for you.
As my barista wrote on my coffee cup yesterday “You matter.” And “Jesus loves you.”
Sometimes the inward battles need a few heroes to refer to, and just a good story to escape to. The Virginian is a classic that I revisited and saw in a whole new way.
https://amzn.to/3TAAZfR(Note: I may receive a commission at no extra cost when you click the link above. Thanks for clicking! )
What helps you keep going when you feel like giving up?
#depression #creator #neverquit
Bridget Bryan 